Yesterday (saturday) morning I was angry. I knew that my husband was off on his road trip and that made me mad. I envisioned him enjoying the freedom of the open road, something I am clearly not going to experience for awhile, and I was seething. I want a road trip too. Why does he get to do this while I am left with the weight of all of this responsibility? It will not surprise me if I don't get a night to myself of a little over 12 more years. And he is on a road trip??
I got angry again today while taking my son to BMX bike riding, something he does on sundays. We are friends with another family who actually introduced us to BMX and who were there. Their little boy is a year older than my son and the father is very involved. Today he actually road the BMX track with his son. Why can't my husband do that?? Which led me to "why can't my husband just be present?"
My poor little boy wants a dad more than anything which makes this almost seem like a cruel twist of fate. I am a good mom. But I am never going to be able to give him what he really wants...a good dad. That is up to his father, who has a lot of work to do. And who has to be willing to do it.
I understand that longing of yours for your son... I have had that frustration and anger.
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