"Hiking Man"

Every good break-up or separation deserves a good fantasy and I came up with mine today. I am a bit embarrassed to be daydreaming already, but a friend pointed out that my husband had not been real involved with the family for awhile so this makes sense.

I am of course open to continuing my marriage. Not sure how my husband feels, but I have decided that I will (at least in the immediate future) give him the opportunity to prove he can be the husband I want and deserve and the father my kids deserve. If he can, then he can come back. If he can't, well....

So introducing "Hiking Man" also known as HM. HM is between 33 and 43 and loves to hike. He can spend all day in the mountain and enjoys hiking alone, in a group, with his family and with children. HM also enjoys camping for a night or for a week. He is knowledgeable about the wilderness and loves to share that knowledge. HM enjoys making hiking fun for kids and looks forward to introducing geocaching and planning scavenger hunts. The race, ethnicity and physical appearance of hiking man is irrelevant. He is in good physical condition from all of the hiking and eats well. Lots of vegetables. HM does not really enjoy cooking but will do it when necessary. He does enjoy making pancakes and will even get up early to make pancakes before a good long hike.

HM also enjoys biking (road and mountain) but hiking is top choice. He would go every day if possible. HM also appreciates how important hiking is to others and will make incredible statements like "you have had a rough week, why don't I spend time with the kids and you take the day to hike". HM would happily offer you the opportunity to go on a backpacking trip for a week, without a second thought. He thinks it will be fun to have the kids to himself : ) He also appreciates that you need the time to rejuvinate. HM wants to save money to visit national parks; in fact those are his favorite vacations. Nothing like a week in a national park!

HM did not play a ton of team sports as a kid but can throw the football or baseball okay. Regardless, he is happy to take the kids to their activities. He is comfortable with others and makes friends with the kids' teammates parents. He even offers to assistant coach when they are young. HM's career does not matter as he knows that life is about much more than working. He typically earns around 50k but enjoys a flexible schedule that allows him to pick the kids up at around 4 and take them for hikes or other activities and do homework with them. Since this is a fantasy man not a lot has been said about the down sides to HM. One is that he tends to be caught up in having fun with the kids and forgets to start dinner. Oh well.

Of course we wonder how HM is available, as we always have this thought that the good ones are taken by this age. Well, HM was at one point. He had been married and maybe even had a kid or two. His wife went from earthy granola to someone who was unhappy without the more expensive things in life. She was always pushing HM to get a job that paid more so she could enjoy a higher end lifestyle. She finally got the clue that this was not the thing for HM and they divorced relatively amicably. If there are kids, HM has at least 50/50 custody. Since being divorced HM has spent his time enjoying his children, hiking and keeping an eye out for Hiking Woman. HM does not come with a ton of baggage. Not a lot of drama.

HM enjoys projects around the house and is relatively handy. He loves to show kids how to use tools and how to build things. Another negative about HM is that he does not enjoy cleaning. He will do some cleaning but is fine with messy. Which is okay because he will take the kids while you are doing the cleaning. HM enjoys being a dad and knows how to make things fun. He is on board with the idea of spending a few hours on the weekend making meals for the week and will make this a good time for everyone.

HM is not religious but is spiritual, particularly regarding mountains and nature. That being said, he is open to religion and likes to learn. HM is not obsessed with football or baseball but looks forward to taking the kids to their first professional sporting event. HM also likes to do what he can to make you feel special. He knows that you don't like to get flowers but will pick up a cactus in a pretty pot to say "I love you". HM will give you a card here and there that says he cares.

While HM is a fantasy, the right man, which could be my husband with his priorities in order, will respect and appreciate me and the kids. He will make us the priority. And he will compromise. So maybe he is not "Hiking Man". But he will hike every few weeks because it is something that I enjoy and that I want my kids to experience.

It's fun to have a fantasy : )