Got a long text from my husband this morning that he had sent last night. All about how he is reevaluating his choice to go to Atlanta for any length of time, was going to some meditation retreat this weekend to learn ways to handle his anger, blah blah. That he missed us.
Yuck.
Is it terrible to say I don't think I am interested? I don't want to go through this drama. I don't want to have him come back and then have to wonder if he will do this again. No thanks.
I don't want to have to have him grumble every time I ask if he wants to go to a get together. I don't want to have to know that he just stuck them in front of the tv rather than spending quality time.
I hope he gets it together so that he can be a dad to the kids. Don't know that I want him back in the house though. I don't want things the way they were.
I want someone who will be there for us and who is not only thinking of themself when making decisions. Someone who is willing to sacrifice.
Sure, I could wind up without a partner for a long time if not forever.
But this was not a partnership.
I did let my husband back into my life after his first affair and his promise to never do it again and that he blew it....blahblahblah.
ReplyDeleteBut another year did not pass by and he was at it again.
I was not a candidate for living like that for one more second.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.