I am going to preface this post by saying that I absolutely know it is too soon to have a crush. And I am also going to say that I KNOW that I cannot make decisions about my marriage based on having feelings for a guy. I am keeping my crush separate from whether or not I want to continue to try and work on my marriage. The truth (as far as working on the marriage) is that my husband is not giving me much to go on. It appears my husband will be working on himself for quite some time. And a lot of this work will likely be in another state. At this point I will not move with him. He does not mention working on the marriage. Just working on himself.
So let's be honest. Having a crush is way more fun than ruminating over the demise of a 17 year relationship.
I have been telling my friend I am flirting but the reality is I am really just having conversations with an adult male who is single. I was never much of a flirt and doubt that will have changed. This guy is just easy to talk to as we have a lot in common. He is older than I am, but has plenty of energy and kids close in age to mine. Most importantly, he is nice and appears to be a good guy. Of course you never know.
I try and look at the crush with perspective. Perhaps we crossed paths so he can show me that there are single, nice guys out there and i don't need to panic.
But I sure would not mind, when the time is right, being asked out on a date : )
Work on what marriage? Your husband doesn't seem to have worked on it much...if ever. I understand because I spent 36 years enabling a self-centered man to pursue all HE wanted and I allowed myself to take blame and guilt for everything and by the time he started having affairs, I was empty of myself and full of him.
ReplyDeleteIt's now time to take care of you. You know when you fly somewhere and they tell you that if you are traveling with children to put the mask on YOURSELF first and THEN take care of the children? That's what I think more of us in-charge women need to do. We spend so much time taking care of everyone else and run out of air and end up not being able to take care of anything.