Today

Today was a rough day though my kids were amazing tonight : )

I had emailed the lawyer last night regarding the details of the separation. I had planned to drop the check off today but got tied up at work. Going to do that tomorrow. I have told a friend to hold me accountable.

I decided today that I don't want to have a crush on the person I have previously mentioned. I realized, as I was breaking down in his office in the middle of the work day, that he is way too valuable as a friend to even go there. I am not much for crying. I am not much for asking for help. I feel like I can power through anything. This friend is the only friend that I have that has really been in this place. Oh my goodness the relief I felt seeing the understanding on his face. He has felt the same pain. The same loss. He did not make any stupid comments. I have heard so many ridiculous things. I don't often let my guard down like that; it is not easy for me. I tend to handle things through humor, which is more preferable than tears.

So no more crush. I need a friend, and I suspect, so does he.

Tonight, my kids were so enjoyable. It was so nice to have fun together and not have it just be about work. I needed a reminder of how worth it they are.

To my kids....I love you guys. Even when you are behaving horribly, I love you. I will always love you and be here for you. I am proud to be your mom.