Huh....

Last night, I spoke with my husband. He was actually starting to make some sense. Sadly I am so disillusioned with him right now, it is hard to care. Which of course makes me feel guilty.

I had called him because i had wanted to let him know that I was definitely doing the separation agreement. I told him about what it would say. That I had put that he would spend one evening a week with the kids (he could pick the evening) and then three hours on the weekend. He asked if that was all he was allowed. I told him no, I would love for him to spend way more time with them but that was his call. Huh.

He said he figured I would do the separation. He then went on about how he did want to try everything he could so we could be a family and I wanted to scream "to little to late". It is hard for me to believe him. It is hard for me to trust him in general.

He said that he had rented a room with a young couple in their 30's who have an extra room down by the University. He is planning to get here next weekend. We talked about our son's birthday party. I told him I was not sure if he should come since realistically, everyone at the party knows what had been going on. He said that he figured folks would know. He then said that whatever was best for our son he would do. Weird. That would be putting someone else's needs first. He said that he appreciated that it might be awkward for him but he would have to suck it up.

Huh.


So now I have to decide if he attends the party or if he should take our son out on his own.

And I wonder, do I give him one more chance?

I paid the $750 to the lawyer thursday for the legal separation. And then I went on an amazing run.

I feel like I am done. Then I feel guilty for feeling that way.

Huh.