Do Deer Enjoy R&B and Rap?.

Today was frustrating. My closest friend (the one who had the baby the day my husband quit us) came into my office during work to tell me they were likely going to move out of state. Since her parents are likely moving out of the country and they want to live near family they are moving "home" (the place they grew up). I cannot help but want to scream...am I not enough? I thought I was like your sister! I wanted our kids to grow up together! She is my family. She always said I was like family.. So what the hell? I am pretty open about my feelings and I told her that it is hard for me because I don't have the family connections she does. My parents drive me nuts. Being around them for any length of time is not good of my mental health. I love my brother but he lives in another state in the south and is not leaving. And I am not moving there (tried to live there for about six months and it is not for me).  I don't have friends from my youth. I was always moving. I don't have a home to go to.  This is my home and my friends are my family. I feel like second best. And I am jealous because I want those family and friend connections. It seems it is not her pushing for the move but her husband. I try to remind myself that this is a positive of not having a husband...no one to want to move and me have to move because they want to. But instead I feel more depressed. If I had a good partner, my closest friend moving would not seem like the end of the world. Because I would have my best friend of all living with me.

My friend went on about how I should move too!  While I suppose my husband would not be upset that I "took the kids away" I don't know that I could do that. And I am tired of moving.

Am I really going to lose my husband and best friend in the same year?

After work is went for a hike. During the last 20 minutes I passed two people lounging on a rock, and then a few minutes later noticed a lone deer less than 100 yards from me. It appeared to be a young deer. I have seen deer on hikes but usually there are multiple deer. Not this time. The deer and I looked at one another. It was quiet. Well except for the music being played at a rather high volume by the people sitting on the rock. I could not help but wonder how the deer felt about the music. At one point it turned its head and I kind of chuckled...not my favorite either I wanted to say.

I am not a religious person but I always say that I believe in the mountain and nature. When I see wildlife on the mountain, I always feel it is a higher power showing me that everything will be okay. 
I felt comfort when I saw the deer. The fact that it was alone was symbolic of how I feel. The lone deer was strong and was and will continue to be okay, just like me. 

It was beautiful, looking at that deer on the side of the mountain, and the deer gazing back at me. 

I could have passed on the music though : )