Surviving The Birthday Party

Yesterday was my son's birthday party. With my husband in attendance. I am proud to say we survived.

It was awkward. Which I knew it would be. Of those who attended the party, all but three of the adults knew my husband personally. All of the adults knew of his disappearance.

I kept reminding myself it was WAY more awkward for him. Which was likely true. But I still don't like things to be awkward.

One of my friends marched right over to him and struck up a conversation. She said she figured she would see him over the years so why not start right away.

He mostly skated with the kids. Which was good. It got me out of skating and I was able to speak with the parents of the kids who came to the party.

As the party wound down, my husband asked if I wanted him to help with the kids at all. I had made plans for us to visit a friend and told him so. I asked if he could bring them home so I could make a quick stop at the store. He said fine and said he was going to go move the seats from my car to his. I told him not to bother; that I would take his car, being that I was not going far and it would be easier to just switch the keys.

Well, apparently there was something he wanted to go do in the car before handing over the keys. He then said well, he would go get his work bag out of the car and be right back. I told him that there would not be time to work, that I would literally be 15 minutes behind him. So then he was going to get the gifts he had for the kids out...

I finally just did not argue. Let him go to the car. Whatever.

I could not help but wonder what it was that was so necessary to go to the car for. When I did get into the car it looked neat, though he has a whole bunch of stuff in the back area (the Soul's version of a trunk). Makes me wonder if he really has a place he is living.

I confronted him on this when I got home after stopping at the store. He said something about wanting to pick up a granola bar wrapper and straighten up the car a little. Seriously? I mean, really, I am the messy one. I am the one who drives around in a car that is trashed. At least now i have the kids to justify the mess.

He then said he did not want me to think he was living in the car. Maybe he is.

I was talking to my friend today about this. He made the "mistake" of asking about the party. I realized when talking to him that I was not sure why it mattered  that he made such a big deal about having to go to the car. I think part of it is that this man who I have lived with for 17 years, has sort of become a stranger to me. It just feels so odd.

So whatever he was hiding, oh well. If he is hiding evidence of a girlfriend, I wish her luck. I joked with my friend that "more power to him" if he has found someone willing to put up with him, because I am not.

Had the therapist appointment today and he commented that I seemed to be doing really well. I told him that actually, I was.