Well the behaviors are in full swing with my husband back in town.
Interestingly, my son seems to be doing okay. My daughter has been a weepy, whiny, miserable mess. She is being rude to the after school teachers, telling them she does not like them. She is crying over EVERYTHING. I appreciate that this is confusing for her. I am not sure how to help her understand that she will see daddy sometimes but not every day. She had made a card for him saying "thank you" and "I love you". I am like, where is MY card? Who is the one who is ACTUALLY HERE FOR YOU?
Fortunately, even though he had to work tonight, my husband did see our son for his birthday. He went to his school with a box of donuts for the kids in his class. I think that thrilled my son. I am envious of my husband. He does the bare minimum and the kids are over the moon. I do everything and it is taken for granted.
I gave my my son a pocket knife, which he really wanted after learning to use one while camping. He agreed to the rules...that I am the holder of the pocket knife unless we are somewhere that a pocket knife is appropriate. Like camping. We also gave him a DS, that we had gotten for Christmas but had not given him. He was very excited about that!
Since tuesday I have had a daily conversation with my "crush" and am no longer concerned that camping did not go well. Boy can the two of us talk. And talk. He is easy to talk to and we have a lot in common. I don't want to have a crush on him because ultimately, once I feel it is okay to think about dating, I will risk rejection. I don't like rejection. But talking to him feels good. He makes me smile. I roll my eyes as I write this, but we sure seem to be compatible in a number of ways. Not only do we enjoy the same things but we have had similar life experiences. Our sons are difficult in many of the same ways. Where my son would overwhelm many men, I doubt he would bat an eye. The behaviors are that similar. We both enjoy being alone and don't have a problem doing things by ourselves. It is hard not to fantasize. There is an age difference (not sure how much but I am going to guess from some things he has said he is a good ten years older than I am) but you would not necessarily know it. I like to see that as a positive, as hopefully he is past his midlife crisis.
Sometimes, I feel like I am sort of flirting with him. Though I am not much of a flirt so that is likely not the case. In a weird way, I almost feel like the two of us are tap dancing around the fact that we are interested...then I think I am just having wishful thinking.
I remind myself of several things...first, I am not in a position to date. I need to get the separation papers completed, signed and submitted. Second, once it is appropriate to think of dating, there is no reason he should not be interested short of having someone.
No comments:
Post a Comment