This post was written yesterday (Sunday) but posted today (Monday).
I was in such a bad physical and emotional place this past Wednesday through yesterday afternoon that it was hard to know if the physical was feeding the emotional, the emotional feeding the physical, or vice/versa. I had the flu. My husband had to help with the kids. I had to see him. He was helpful. I wanted him back. Bad. Really bad.
I cried. I cried with him, I cried by myself. I am fairly convinced this is the worst I have felt since all of this went down. I like to eat. I mean really like to eat. I have not had a meal since Tuesday. If I had an appetite and ate, immediate trip to the bathroom. While that may have started as the flu, I was not sure when it was still happening whether it was the flu or serious anxiety.
A friend invited me and the kids camping Saturday. Yes, the friend I have a crush on. I felt like crap Saturday morning but knew I needed to go. Not because I have a crush on the guy. But to get out of town. To get away from my life here. To get away from my husband.
I somehow got it together and got us in the car Saturday afternoon. Once I was out of the city my stress level went way down. I felt better driving and even better at the campsite. By this morning I felt relatively normal.
By the drive home, I was back. I could handle my life again.
I am ready to eat. Tonight a bowl of Soup and some potatoes to be safe. Tomorrow?
We will see : )
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