My husband quit the family like he quit jobs in his early twenties. In the restaurant or retail industries it would be referred to as "no call no show". I was not given a two week notice or even a week. Perhaps it would make more sense to say he "walked off the job" as he was home and then suddenly he wasn't.
Clearly, I am trying to keep my sense of humor here.
Here are the details, which are not many:
Tuesday, January 22nd was like any other day really.
The morning was difficult. My daughter who is all of 5, threw her shoe and said "I don't want to put on my stupid f-in (yes she used the f-word) shoe.
I gave her her consequence. No TV for two days which is the end of the world for her. I then went back to the bedroom where my husband was avoiding the family as he does regularly. I congratulated him for teaching our daughter the F word. He stated he just needs to be away from them. I came back with the fact that he is never here anyway (and when he is he is not interacting). That was that.
I took the kids to school. I went to work. I picked the kids up. I went home.
My daughter had a project so I went to the coat closet for the craft supplies. The closet seemed strange. It is usually packed but now it wasn't. There were still some of my husband's coats. But then I noticed the computer monitor my husband kept on the dress was gone. Huh. Then I went to the closet. His entire side was empty. Not just the clothes, but the Pooh Bear that was his as a baby that he had carried around all these years.
I am starting to panic now. My kids are still awake and are behaving outlandishly, probably because they sense that something is not right.
I move to the laundry room. His row of shirts that he kept there is gone. I put the kids in their room because their behavior is nuts and I cannot handle them anyway. My closest friend is actually in labor at the hospital so I cannot contact her. I text my other close friend. My daughter's teacher has emailed about a question I had about her project and i email her back that I think my husband has left us.
I text my husband. Are you coming home? Because a lot of your stuff is gone. I walk around and notice other things gone. His records. His silly Apple signs that he was convinced he was going to see on EBay. A vase from his dad. The orange one. I am glad he left the purple one.
Somehow the kids and I finish the project. No response from my husband. My friend comes over. We put the kids to bed.
They are not bothered by dad not being home yet. He is often not home until after they are in bed.
I am a strong person but I sob when talking to my friend. How can someone do this? And what exactly is he doing? With the disappearance of the records and Pooh I am assuming he is not just gone for the week.
He finally texts back that he is not good for us right now and that he is angry and hateful. He does not think it is good for him to be there like this.
I ask if he was planning to talk to me about this.
Yes, he says. But he stopped for a drink at a friends and had a few too many. He knows he is supposed to be with the kids the next day while i have a work event that night. We can talk then, he says.
All I can do at that point is cry. I am a strong person and things have been difficult. But this?
I text my boss. I let her know I am not sure when I will be in the next day. I text the therapist we have been meeting with asking for an emergency appointment.
I then walk around the house trying to figure out what is no longer there.
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