I'm Back....

I have not been posting for awhile...went through a rough patch in early July when I found out from a friend that O, my crush, was seeing someone and apparently "in love". I felt hurt, angry, confused...I don't think it would have been so bad if he has actually told me this during any of the many conversations we had on this topic...but no. I don't understand it but I have moved past it.it was hard because I felt that if any guy could appreciate someone like me it was him...remember I am seeking someone who is cool with the fact that i am not much for makeup or getting my hair done. This seems rare, unfortunately. If O was not into me, than who would be....I also felt hurt on the friendship level. If we were good friends, why not tell me he was seeing someone? Heck, give me hope that I can find someone one day.

Men.

After getting through those emotions, I began online dating in earnest and also took my kids on a 20 hour (each way) road trip to Glacier National Park, where we camped, hiked, swam and generally had a great time. The kids rocked In the car. I think the trip went really well. I enjoyed the driving and it was my first camping experience without friends.

Came back and picked up with the online stuff and have met a few folks. Online dating is an experience. I will write a separate post for that.

Told my ex that I am meaning to start dating. He said he did not expect me to wait for him. Wait for what? He is not out of town in school or work. He is not in another country at war. I told him I don't want to live this way. That I want a partner that lives in the house. He went on about how he does not want to live here...that there is nothing for him here. Yep. Just his family. I asked if he would commit to being here for five years. He said no. Nice. So now that my kids are getting all attached to dad again I know at some point the shoe will drop. I told him that it is probably time for finalizing a divorce. How do you stay married to someone who is unwilling to commit to living in the same state with you and your/their kids?

This kids started school this week. Time flies. Life goes on.