Went camping again with the crush, who I am now calling "O". O had mentioned on wednesday that he was considering going. I told him to let me know, as we had nothing going on until Sunday. Aside from the whole crush thing, I enjoy camping with O. He goes to places I have not been and is a confident camper....he knows where you can camp that is not a campground. The reality too is that he is a guy and it is different for a guy to camp in the middle of nowhere with his kids than for a girl with her kids by herself. As bad a** as I like to be I don't want to be stupid.. It is also nice for the kids to entertain each other and the extra set of adult eyes, so if I am invited I go for it.
So when O confirmed he was going we went along. My camping stuff is pretty well ready and easy to pull together. The kids had a great time. We relaxed. I actually slept well. I almost told O that I had feelings for him. Almost. I wish I had now. I just want to get it out. If he is not interested it would be a bummer and I would feel bad but I sort of feel it would be better than wondering. I do hate to lose the friendship and my adventure buddy which causes me to hesitate.
So I have decided to list reasons why it would be GOOD if O is not interested. This way if he isn't I will have a list of why that is not such a bad thing...
So here goes:
1. He is 11 or 12 years older than me. I don't have an issue with this, to increase the odds of having a partner around longer, someone who is say 42, rather than 49, could be positive.
2. His son makes my son look calm and easy to handle. I am not kidding. He was climbing trees well higher than my comfort level and singing songs like "hey sexy lady". He can be rude and talks to you like you should do what he says even though he is 8. My son does that to me but not to other adults.
3. The fact that we work together.
4. Income. I will not make income a deciding factor as long as a man can support himself and his obligations. But heck, if I am looking for a plus as to why I should be okay with him not being interested I will throw that out there.
5. He is pretty frugal. His ability to save is amazing and I admire that. but would he give me a hard time for my spending?
6. He does not have heat in his whole house...cold!
7. He may be more stubborn than me.
8. I think he may have a lot of stuff lying around like my now ex...
9. He has already done some of the things I want to do..and while I know he wants to do them again, perhaps it would be more fun to do these things with someone who hasn't yet done them.
I suppose only time will tell. Friends say to "enjoy" having this crush. How do you enjoy it?!
On another note, my now ex husband was supposed to spend the day with the kids yesterday so I could make bread with a friend. When I texted him at 9:30 to see if 10:45 worked I did not hear back. I texted his work and personal phones. I called both phones. By noon I was concerned. By 1:30 I was starting to panic. He called at 2:15 and told me he had been up all night sick and fell asleep at 7:30am. One would think he could have sent a text to give me a heads up. I was about to start calling hospitals. He has done this too many times it is hard to know whether or not to believe him.
No comments:
Post a Comment