Here We Go Again...

Well my giddiness over Jacob was short lived as my ex told me the following last night:

He thinks he can commit to staying in our city for five years if he can do the following: accept a job in Florida that will last until May and that starts next week.

Seriously? And guess who hooked him up with the job? The girl he had been talking to without my knowledge last year. Imagine that. Is this in response to my saying I wanted to date?

I don't think it really matters how I feel. He made some comment about not wanting to pass up this opportunity.

This is the entire school year. My son will fall apart and it will be me who has to deal with the horrible behavior. I never got to take a trip for myself and now won't have that opportunity. I had a big hike and a bike road race planned that I will not be able to do as well. Never mind the fact that I will not have any breaks from the kids unless I can get the sitter to come. For $15 per hour. I will have to quit my second job which gives me a deal on my gym membership which means I will have to give up the gym membership too. And what happens when the job ends in may? He will have no income. How will he be able to contribute?

I really should not be surprised. This man is clearly very selfish. What is sad is how jealous I am of the friends I have with custody arrangements where the dad wants to see the kids. I am jealous of this for the kids and for myself. Is it unfair that I want time to myself too? 

My brother says he is looking forward to seeing him in jail when he does not pay the support he is supposed to. I just feel overwhelmed and trapped in my own life.  And this will sound terrible, but I would like to meet someone some day. And how am I going to date or meet people if I never have time away from the kids?